PS: I love you

Just finished watching this movie with Gerard Butler and Hillary Swank! And its marvellous! It pulls on the heartstrings like any good chick-flick should and remind us all of our girlie dreams when we were young and dreamed of our knight in shining armour and how he would lay down his coat over a puddle so his Lady wouldnt have to get her shoes wet, or carry her to her final destination if she felt tired, send her flowers for no reason but to make her smile or just did any of those dreamy things that Princes did in fairytales.

Oh, the myths of love and happiness and happily-ever-after. Then I hit adolescence and my twenties and all the sparkle of dreams and the desire to love and be loved above all else pales and gets buried behind cynicism and resignation and routine mundane activities.

And yet does the hope ever really truly die or leave us? Any of us? Male or female? Or is it merely an addiction of our individual making and manufacture? Never to be satisfied as the drug to satiate it has never, will never and does not exist outside of our imaginations and subconscious workings! Is it right to ever expect the fulfilment of this from any other human being?

And so Hollywood makes a killing on re-creating this nonsense! Perpetuates the fairytale, the never-ending hope and disappointment! Because no one can live up to another's dreams! Its impossible. And we can spend our lives trying to learn the tools to communicate clearly, be open and honest, create create and re-create.........and where does that leave us? Feeling like we are doomed to failure, never doing it well enough, never saying the right thing, never being clever enough, never being funny enough, never being driven enough, never being fit enough, never being good enough in the bedroom or adventurous enough, never being the one to fulfil the others every desire and dream..............never being the right person.

Or maybe thats just me! 

And maybe thats what we all say!!

I would like to continue to try and believe in the dreams, the fairytales. 

I merely find myself at a crossroads where once I knew who my knight was and through silly contortions of my own making since the beginning of our tale, he is off protecting another from puddles and tired feet. Laying out his unique most lovely brand of time and thought, most precious to any heart....

That right now, newly breaks my heart.

Not in that he is feeling love and happiness with another because that is all that I truly wish for him, but that I cannot be a part of his life, in any small way, to contribute or celebrate...

But maybe one day.........like in the stories.............maybe one day!

But go and watch the movie! It truly is a special tale of its own

xxxx